Friday, April 29, 2005
everytime i try to fly i fall back on my knees it's not as if i can't live without you not as if i will crumble and fall become hermit crab again not as if you're gonna stay one day we'll part not as if i can't take care of myself eat lunch alone not as if i will starve myself to death who would be so stupid not as if i'll cry not as if not as if not as if not as if...
i'm so tired of my excuses.
sprayy`
+ 1:15 PM
Tuesday, April 26, 2005
oh. my. god. hahaha. hahaha. hahaha. i am mad.
sprayy`
+ 12:42 AM
Friday, April 22, 2005
the day
when curtains fall
red velvet covers our faces
when everything's over
seas calm and skies break
when it's no more
what am i to you
and what will you be to me?
a kind soul
a stupid dog
emotional brat
a passerby
insecure
that's what i am
when i see hours crawl by
before a reply
words you say
may mean nothing to you
but it hurts
cuz they really don't seems to
mean anything to you
wish i could dissolve
die now a liquid state
you gonna let go?
sprayy`
+ 1:12 AM
Wednesday, April 20, 2005
.wish.
i could dissolve
hydrophilic crap
i could fall
gravitivity
i could cry
tear glands drop
i could laugh
muscle relaxor
i could sleep
eyelids cut open
wish i could.
self-pity party
wish you could be here.
i should change. be happier.
beat my body to make it my slave.
sprayy`
+ 11:38 PM
Tuesday, April 19, 2005
I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
'Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me
sprayy`
+ 11:28 AM
Thursday, April 14, 2005
i'll hold you in heaven
sometimes i feel like crying
laying down and dying
that's when i need you
laughing's always easy
but sometimes i'm just scared you'll leave me
that's when i feel
emotional.
pms struck again. today.
i learned the art of working like a robort
time passed surprisingly fast
more surprising, however, is that i'm still alive
that i can still feel the numbness in my leg when i uncrossed my legs
guess i should smile, at least.
how does it feel to be me?
that even if i wanna be banished
there's no one to cause me to be
i guess i'm just foolish; pathetic
i feel raindrops on my head
tastes salty
then i realised
it's not the rain
it's God crying for me
That His precious princess has become a fool
But i can feel the sting in His tears
A fool indeed i am
A toy indeed i am.
So within His control
sprayy`
+ 5:39 PM
Wednesday, April 13, 2005
stuck. like cork in wine bottle. like toe-nail. either way i move, i bleed. hurt. deformed. i really hate myself. choice. does it really exist? freewill. a joke. it's a lifetime contract signed by birth. breach it and i die. tattered barbie i am. i scream but i hear nothing. feel like crying but i stay dry. i lost something. i hate you.
sprayy`
+ 9:38 PM
Thursday, April 07, 2005
i miss you. :(
sprayy`
+ 9:44 PM
Saturday, April 02, 2005
i'm treading on a fine string.
Estatic and contented as i am, i fear.
i'll be banished.
And there will be no turning back.
i don't think i'll ever have the courage to.
it's foolishness to the mind;
deception to the flesh.
what will happened next?
i stopped thinking about it.
sprayy`
+ 12:28 AM