Friday, July 29, 2005
the last vulgarity that came out of my mouth dated 2003. aren't you fortunate? in case you haven't realised, i'm not that broken-hearted lonely pathetic girl anymore. since that time i asked you for a reply and you simply refused, i gave up. totally. i can go on perfectly fine without your shadow cast over me.
and the only reason why i still wanna keep in contact with you is really because i cherish you as a friend. (somehow the back of my brain sniggers at this one-sided term.) i dun wish to see you 5 or 10 years down the road and avoid you, pretend we're strangers.
but everytime i wanna open up my life to you i find myself kicked and thrown around at your wishes. when you have no activities at home, no need to visit your grandma, when homework can wait, and you're not sleepy or lazy, den you'll bother to reply. bother to give a thought about pathetic little jesse. i can see sunrise sunset while waiting. and as always, when i finally wanna give up waiting, the white flip-phone vibrates. i feel turned-off after all those hours already. and it's not as if you check your phone once a day. you check it every other minute. don't you? everytime i manage to exchange a few msges with you, i'll know it when you're bored; when you'll refuse to meet up. yet you dun have the guts to say you're too lazy. you'll just delay time. reply later. and if i dun initiate you won't even bother. everytime you do this to me. i have to make up excuses for you. everytime i wanna give you a piece of my mind, i think perhaps you dun mean it. but now, i've had enough of all this bullshit.
you want this frenship to last or not? you decide. if you say people who love you in the beginning will ultimately grow cold one day. dun say that to me. i'll punch you straight in the face.
sprayy`
+ 11:04 PM
Wednesday, July 13, 2005
thanks bro. i cried like dunno wad ytd night and i really feel much better now. :) thanks for being there. daniel leow kok ann.
sprayy`
+ 11:59 PM
Friday, July 08, 2005
can't exactly figure myself. it's as if i lost myself. maybe i was simply thrown back into my old way of life. kinda hard to get used to. sometimes i feel like a wandering soul. like i dun belong anywhere. my spot on earth. it's nowhere in sight.
pretense.
in life, it's easier to pretend. to do whatever expected. whatever asked to. even when, even when.
write twenty times i'm not your missing rib.
sprayy`
+ 11:22 PM