Saturday, June 18, 2005
sometimes i wonder if you can understand just how i feel. everytime i think about it, i become so so depressed. that's why i dun like to drink anymore. it makes me more depressed. feel like crying; feel like sleeping. a part of me wants to follow my mind, set myself free. yet another part of me yearns to follow my heart, to indulgance. i simply cannot bring myself to a decision. i tried to forget about it. but it kept coming back. being reminded. again. and again. and again. what should i do?
i guess we need to talk.
sprayy`
+ 10:47 PM
Tuesday, June 07, 2005
to my dearest mum & dad.
i know that you love me.
even when you scold me
for not washing my dishes
when i dun even have the strength
to sit up and eat
even when i'm sick a 38.9
you cooked fried chicken for dinner
and asked me why i din eat
even when i had to eat instant noodles.
no proper meals for days
it's okay
i can't eat anyway
and when you finally realised
how sick i was
i'm already to lazy
to tell you in the face
you're 5 days too late.
i love my mum and dad
dun worry.
i'll gladly eat my instant noodles and die.
sprayy`
+ 4:28 PM
Saturday, June 04, 2005
i keep checking my phone.
i feel like an idiot.
my fever's like how you're treating me.
i'm still not retarded.
i can't sleep.
panadol = paracetamol + caffine.
i want to sleep.
i dun want to stare at my phone no more.
i took muscle relaxors.
do not take more than 2 each time.
do not take with paracetamol / alcohol.
who cares. you're sleeping. you dun.
i cried. tot it could make me feel better.
i failed.
i think i think too much.
but i just dun understand.
why am i always the fool.
sprayy`
+ 11:49 PM